Thank you For Asking

Posted by on Aug 17, 2015 in Featured Posts | 0 comments

Thank you For Asking

Every day, we cross paths with other people, some we know and some we are meeting for the first time. The greeting is almost always the same “Hi. How are you?” And the reply is almost always the same “Fine.”

What does fine really mean?

Do you ask the question without really wanting to know the answer? What would they say if you responded “You don’t seem fine.” How would you feel, what would you say and what would you do if they unloaded their emotional baggage?

Do you answer fine when you really don’t feel fine? What would they say if you told them how you really feel?

Do we as a society of human beings really care about how other people feel at any given moment? To venture beyond the perfunctory greeting to some feels like an invasion of another’s privacy, as well as our own. The greatest gift you can give another human being is your time and your compassion. Most people don’t want you to fix their problem, they just want to know you heard them and you care.

In those instances where you have the desire and ability to help, first ask the following questions:

What’s the problem?
What have you done to fix it?
What do you plan to do?
How can I help?

 

If you can’t or don’t want to open yourself to the true answer, don’t ask the question.

Try an experiment. Pick a day during the next week that you will be around people, some you have known for a while, and some you don’t know at all. Look them straight in the eye and ask “How are you?” Note how many times you get the answer fine and the amount of eye contact and the body language when they tell you.

If someone asks “How are you?” Give them an answer other than fine. You may tell them “I am having the most fabulous day. I hope you are!” or you may say “I’m not having a good day. My husband left me for a younger woman, I lost my job and my dog died. But Thank you for Asking.”